Imagine a raw food island where the entire population eats only raw. There are no smells of cooked food in the streets, there are no stoves or ovens in the kitchens, no one boils anything, and all restaurants serve only raw food. Advertisements on the street ask, "Did you have carrot juice today?" and at the holidays, children receive baskets full of exotic fruits. How easy it would be for us to live there! Why is it so easy on the raw food island and so hard in our real life?
There is no temptation on the cheese island, but our real life is full of temptation.
Let's clearly define what the word "temptation" means. What is temptation? Please find the answer to this question yourself, I will help you with leading questions. What is the difference between temptation and desire? Temptation involves desire plus something else, but what? When you have a desire to eat a cucumber or pet a puppy, we don't expect anything bad to come of it, do we? At least as far as we know. We don't call it temptation, we call it desire. When do we call desire "temptation"? How do the meanings of "temptation" and "desire" differ? Please think about this so that the word "temptation" becomes fully clear to you. Let's get to the bottom of this. Are there negative temptations? We know it is better not to experience it. Why? We call temptation what we know will bring us harm. It will eventually lead to either pain, or sickness, or death, or some other problem. Sounds awful, then why do we give in to temptation? Because it promises us pleasure, however short-lived. How long does this pleasure last? A few moments. How quickly does the reckoning come? We stubbornly hope never.
So, temptation is the desire for that which promises us short-term pleasure, and carries with it an ultimately inevitable payoff. We anticipate the pleasure that comes quickly. This enjoyment is so dear to us that we give in to temptation. Now that we clearly understand what temptation is and how it differs from desire, we can learn how to successfully avoid it.
Do you believe that you can avoid temptation by a simple effort of will? I personally don't know anyone who can resist temptation. The mythical hero Odysseus had to tie himself to the mast of his ship to keep the beautiful sirens from tempting him. Therefore, the best thing for you to do is to avoid all temptations.
There are two kinds of temptations: those that can be avoided and those that cannot. The former include those temptations that you can avoid, at least for a few months. The second includes those whose presence you cannot control.
Do you know what your strongest temptations are with regard to cooked foods? They are always based on your personal weaknesses for different cooked foods. Many of my students have confessed a weakness for one or more things from the following, by no means exhaustive, list: coffee, chocolate, air corn, baked potatoes, candy, cheese, bread, pizza, pasta, rice, cookies, pies, and potato chips.
Most people know their weaknesses. If you're having a hard time determining what cooked foods might tempt you, ask yourself the following questions. What cooked foods will you miss the most? What scares you most about going raw? Knowing your biggest weaknesses will help you avoid the places where temptation awaits you. I'll give you two examples.
Say your biggest weakness is air corn, then places of temptation for you would be movie theaters and other public places. This is a temptation you can avoid. However, if you have an air corn machine at your work, then this temptation will become inevitable. If your biggest weakness is coffee, places of temptation will be: coffee shops, sandwich stores, parties, the workplace, even bookstores and many other public places. I believe these are inevitable temptations.
Complete the following assignment. Absolutely honestly think of all the cooked foods that tempt you. Make a list. If the list comes out too long, group the food into categories. Then take two sheets of blank paper. On one write "temptations that can be avoided" and on the other write "inevitable temptations." On both sheets, draw a vertical line down the center. Write down your temptations on the left side. On the right side opposite each temptation, write down all the places where these temptations may be waiting for you. This exercise will help you realize where temptations are waiting for you, so you can prepare in advance.
Let's first discuss those temptations that can be avoided unless you work in the factory that produces them. Here are some of them: pasta, cake, chocolate, specific national dishes, all kinds of chips. If you are serious about going raw, make a conscious effort to avoid cooked foods for two months or longer, in order for you to develop a relaxed attitude towards them. Learn to replace it with raw food. Remove all tempting foods from your home, work, and car. Clean out all the hiding places of your favorite foods because thoughts of them will haunt you until you eat them all and you won't be able to concentrate on work or rest. When we are hungry, hurt, lonely, or upset, we think our favorite foods will drown out those feelings and bring us pleasure.
Avoid advertising for at least two months. Have you ever noticed that when they advertise alcohol, they always show cheerful smiling people. No one mentions the negative effects of drinking like hangovers, vomiting, and fighting. Magazines and television constantly advertise boiled and canned foods. Many commercials associate cooked food with happy family events. The idea is that when you eat the advertised product, you will be as happy as the people you see in the commercial. We all know that commercials are played by actors, but we still want to try that food in hopes of experiencing the feeling the commercial promises. Do not visit until you are completely sure of yourself. Instead, attend raw food classes and raw food friends. In your free time, practice making new raw food dishes. Then, when you learn how to make delicious raw dishes, you'll start to be appreciated as a raw food chef.
Before going to the store, eat properly so you are not tempted by the cooked food around you. Don't go to those stores that offer you free cooked food to try. If you can't avoid such a store, fill your mouth with raisins, nuts, or raw food breadcrumbs. Chew raw food vigorously and shake your head negatively when offered something to try. The first two months will be the hardest. Do what you can to stay on the raw food diet. Read books about alcohol and drugs. I, personally, have found it helpful. Create a raw food island around you. Remember, what seems impossible when you are surrounded by temptations is very easy and simple when you are not.
Now let's talk about those temptations that cannot be avoided. For example: cooked food that the rest of your family eats; vending machines that sell food right at your work; the bakery across the street from your house; free coffee at work; sweets given to you by friends; food offered to you for free at stores; work-related lunches; free candy at some offices; free cookies at church; family holidays, etc.д.
The basic strategy we employ in dealing with avoidable temptations is to keep ourselves completely away from them. However, we cannot apply the same strategy to the inevitable temptation. What can we do? Apply willpower and discipline? We have already mentioned that we cannot overcome temptation by willpower. As long as we do not see this temptation before our eyes, we are confident that by a simple effort of will we can resist it. But in reality, when we see these temptations, we cannot resist them.
However, we can psychologically prepare ourselves to face the inevitable temptation and not give in. To know what to say when someone unexpectedly offers you a cooked meal, you must think ahead of time about how to behave and what to say.
In my classes, I teach students a game that helps them avoid temptation. By playing this game, students learn how to politely say "no" to temptation. First, students share information about their weaknesses for cooked food. Then we play out different situations in which they are offered cooked food. When you are unexpectedly offered your favorite cooked food, you should know in advance what you are going to say. Below is an example of how we play this game. Lara volunteered to play the role of "tempted" because she wants to stop drinking coffee. Lara turns to face the class.
Victoria: Lara, are you sure you want to quit drinking coffee?
Lara: Absolutely. I've been promising myself to quit coffee for two years now and in that time I've only been able to go one week without coffee.
Victoria: Lara, what is your favorite kind of coffee and where do you usually buy it?
Lara: I like lattes. I always get it at Starbucks.
Victoria (addressing the students): Please try to seduce Lara for coffee. Be creative so that your offers sound plausible and are hard to refuse.
Victoria, turning to Lara: Lara, you have to answer, "No, thank you," except it has to sound so your friends won't be offended. In a real situation, when someone offers you something from the bottom of their heart, you don't say, "Get out, I don't drink coffee anymore." Let them know that you sincerely appreciate their concern, and offer something else in turn, like: "Thank you very much for your offer, but maybe we'd rather have a juice?". If they insist, don't give in and tell them, "I'm sorry, but I can't drink any more coffee for health reasons," or, "I've made the decision not to drink any more coffee," or, "My doctor doesn't recommend that I drink coffee."
Karen: Lara, you know, I was at Starbucks, and they had reduced prices today, and I got you your favorite coffee - lattes. Here you go!"
Lara: "Oh..."
Victoria to Lara: "What do you have to say?"
Lara: "Karen, thank you so much for your concern! But I don't drink coffee anymore. I have high blood pressure. But thanks anyway! I hope you can offer this coffee to someone else!".
Of course! I understand.
Mike: I'm your father. I want to congratulate you! You inherited the coffee factory from us, your parents. It's an old family tradition that you have to have a cup of our freshly brewed coffee every morning.
Lara: Daddy, thank you so much! I am very much touched! But I have very high blood pressure and my doctor told me not to drink coffee. Maybe our manager will sample the coffee instead of me? Or maybe I'll just symbolically hold the cup, but I won't drink it?
Mike: I hear you, daughter. We'll figure something out.
SARAH: Listen, Lara. I'm so glad you're my friend. I know how much you like coffee. And I just won a prize at Starbucks - free coffee all year long. And since I don't drink coffee, I'm giving this prize to you.
Lara: Thank you so much for your generous offer! I know you are a true friend and will understand me. I've decided not to drink coffee anymore, t.к. I have health problems. And I'm sure you have someone else you can give this gift to.
Sarah: Yeah, of course.
JERRY: Lara, we've been driving for hours. It's 2am, we both want to sleep, but need to keep driving. Let's stop at a gas station and I'll buy us some coffee.
LARA: Thank you, Jeri. You can buy coffee for yourself if you want, but I know from experience that coffee doesn't help me anyway. So while you're buying coffee, I'm gonna take a little nap. I'd rather eat peanuts.
MARLENE: Hi, Lara. Did you remember that today is the day of our traditional coffee shop meeting? I have so much news for you! Let's go.
Lara: You'll have to excuse me, Marlene, but I can't go to the café.
Marlene: What's the matter? Are you not my friend anymore?
Lara: Well, of course I'm your friend, Marlene, and I can't wait to hear all your news. But my doctor told me not to drink coffee. If I go to a cafe, I might be tempted. Let's go and have some juice.
Marlene: It won't be the same, because we've always met in cafes!
Lara: Look Marlene, I don't want to hurt you. You're my best friend, and I need your support right now. Please understand me.
Marlene: All right, let's go get some juice.
Victoria: Lara, please share with us your feelings during this game. Do you feel more empowered?
Lara: I'm amazed at how real it felt. In the beginning, it was hard for me to say no. Then it got easier and easier. For the first time in my life, I was meaningfully saying no. I hadn't even thought about it before. I know I've found my footing. I now have a whole repertoire from which I can draw answers for real life. Thank you all for your help.
This game is always a big help to all my students, t.к. they take practical ideas out of it that they apply to real-life situations. I recommend playing it in support groups at raw food meetings. Everyone would benefit from playing it at least once.
Drug researchers have written about the phenomenon of psychological chain reaction. Reactions are always harder to stop if we haven't decided in advance how we will behave in a particular situation. For example, if an alcoholic who has money in his pocket to pay his rent meets a friend on the corner, he is likely to follow the friend to a bar and blow the rent money on alcohol. It's called a chain reaction. When you see something delicious, you may immediately have a chain reaction and want to eat what you saw, so you should prepare yourself for such situations in advance. The best time to prepare is when you are at home or where there are no temptations. Then you can calmly think through your reactions.
Now let's go back to that piece of paper where you listed the inevitable temptations. Opposite each temptation on the right side of the worksheet, write how you can avoid it. For example, before you walk into the grocery store, fill a mouthful of raisins and chew them so you won't be tempted by anything else. Or, if not everyone in your family has converted to raw food, set aside some part of the kitchen as a "temptation-free zone."
When you feel that you have developed a resistance against temptation, you can start going to restaurants. There's a salad on the menu at any restaurant. You no longer need to sit at home isolated from the world. Communication is important to all of us. In the beginning, it will be easier for you if you go to a restaurant with a friend.
If you already have three or four raw food friends, you can go out to restaurants together once a week. Decide where you want to go and make reservations in advance. Bring your own dressing, sprouted seeds or raw food croutons and enjoy your ordered salad and the company of your friends. We all enjoy socializing.
If you haven't learned how to make a tasty sauce yet, just mix in equal proportions of good vegetable oil, apple cider vinegar and a little sea salt or soy sauce - there you have a tasty condiment. You can even keep it in your car - it won't spoil. Take this dressing to a restaurant, pour it on the salad you ordered and enjoy your meal.
I recommend you make a card like the one my friend Jonathan came up with - it will make your restaurant visits easier. Copy the card below onto heavy paper, cut it out and put it in your wallet. When I go to a restaurant by myself or with friends, I don't feel awkward trying to explain to a startled waitress what I want. I just hold out this card to her with a smile. For chefs, this is a fun task. I know from myself that all cooks want their dishes to look beautiful.
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Unfortunately, not everywhere serves organic (organic) fruits and vegetables. Still, I think it's better to go out with friends once a week to a restaurant and eat a non-organic salad than to binge on pizza out of loneliness. Socializing with friends will help you stick to a raw food diet.
These restaurant trips will help you ignore temptations. You can't stay at home indefinitely. At some point you will still have to take the plunge into reality. After a couple months, you'll notice that you don't pay attention to restaurants and cooked food anymore. You may also have the illusion that your addiction to cooked food has passed, and that you can eat an occasional bite of cooked food without any consequences. If you eat a small bite of cooked food, you probably won't feel anything. But the next morning, you'll notice that you've started thinking about cooked food and smelling its odors. If you give in to temptation again, you will lose your peace of mind. And you're going to have to start all over again. In the book, The Raw Family, we described how such a story happened to us..
